Watch the heel

I am feeling very proud of myself this week. My latest random book choice was none other than the 3000 year old text that is the bane of high school students around the world, The Iliad (ca. 700 BC, my copy was translated by E. V. Rieu in 1949).

When this first popped up I was a bit excited and a bit intimidated. I mean, lately I've been reading lots and lots of pulpy science fiction books and cheesy biographies. I was an English major and all, but did I still have some serious reading eyes in me? I figured I would trudge through it and break it up by reading magazines and such when I was too tired to read Homer. At the end, I would have the satisfaction of having finished the book, no matter how long it took me.

In actuality, I jammed through the thing in less than a week and loved every minute of it. Rieu's translation is very approachable and captures the excitement that the stories must have held for the original listeners.

In case you aren't up on your classic literature, the basic story is this: We are nine years into the Trojan War, which started when Paris, a prince of Troy, stole Helen, the wife of Agamemnon's brother, when he was staying with them as a guest. He also stole a bunch of stuff. Troy has been under siege by the Achaeans ever since. Achilles is one of the Achaean's best fighters, in part because his mom is a goddess (some kind of sea nymph) and she dipped him in the magic water when he was a tot, all except for his namesake heel. Agamemnon, the king of the Achaeans, is forced to give back a woman that he captured in battle and decides he can take one of Achilles' ladies to make up for it. This makes Achilles mad and he refuses to fight for Agamemnon anymore. He makes his goddess mom ask Zeus to let the Trojans win and Zeus does until Achilles' best friend gets killed in battle. Then Achilles gets pissed, joins the fight, and kills the Trojans best fighter, Hector.

That's about it.

So, lots and lots of fighting. Lots of names. Lots of telling us who the father was of the guy that just got killed as well as the guy who killed him and a sentence or two about why they are there. Lots of gruesome descriptions of spears poking out eyeballs, spilling guts, and spurting brains.

The best parts of all are the gods and goddesses who help out their favorites, watch from up in their skyhouse and bicker with each other. One of the gods, Hephaestus, who has a lame leg but is an expert metalworker, even made himself ancient robots! "Golden maidservants hastened to help their Master. They looked like real girls and could not only speak and use their limbs but were endowed with intelligence and trained in handwork by the immortal gods." Nice work, gods.

So, if you want to party with the gods and soak up lots of gruesome spear action, (as well as some interesting mythology and complex ancient characters) I say that the Iliad is for you. I'm sure Josh is glad I'm done with it, as it has been nothing but Iliad references and mythological inneuendo all week.