Sunday, September 09, 2007

Mr. Wizard

Dr. M comes up with another fabulous invention: The Beeritar. We will be developing a gift set that packages this with the very popular Beer Phone. You will be able to buy two Beer Phones and two Beeritars in a handy six-pack. I predict that this innovation will be our ticket out of this dump. See you later, suckers!

7 comments:

Young Buck Invincible said...

I have been hard at work developing the Beercil (Beer/ pencil hybrid). The problem I having right now is that the beer either pours out of the bottle when I try to write with it (and gets my paper all wet) or the beer bottle is empty and leaves no marks at all on the paper. I would gladly offer you some of the profits I expect to earn with this wonderful invention if you could help me solve this technical problem.

chewtastic said...

luckily for your previous commenter, the beeraser™ has not only already been invented, but is available to both writers and readers of the unique creations that stem from the beercil's output. simply apply liberally (or conservatively, as is your wont) until all memory of the creation has been removed. the beeraser™ also serves as unilateral alleviation of social awkwardness if all parties ensure proper application.

Spacebeer said...

Professor Romance, I think Chew has the answer you are looking for -- the problem with your Beercil isn't the Beercil itself, rather it is the lame ordinary writing paper you are trying to use. Try using a full, cold Beercil to write messages on your tongue, esophagus, and stomach, then translate these messages out with your mouth. Any mistakes can be easily redacted with the beeraser™.

And then you can play your Beeritar in celebration and call us on your Beer Phone to tell us how it went.

Joolie said...

Gosh, guys, you won't forget your old pal Joolie, willya?

steigrrr said...

why don't you combine all of these brilliant inventions into one handy beerbot (or the more compact beerpod)? just one standard-sized beerpod would be perfect as a combination beer phone, beeritar and beercil. or you could encourage your cooler, more deluxe customers to upgrade to the power-packed 40 oz. beerbot for added beeraser and anti-depressant (aka "beerzac") capabilities.

chewtastic said...

@joolie: are you our jimmy stewart?
@steigrrr: the design would have to ensure it doesn't look like a certain recent ad campaign, as i'm not really into feminist hate mail.

Spacebeer said...

I love the idea of the beerpod, but my only reservation is that it might not have enough beer in it? Because ultimately, the reason for using any of these accessories is the drinking of the beer, right?

Maybe we could make a bourbon-pod or something a little stronger for those days when we want a compact drinking utensil...